Ask IM: How to Survive the New Baby Sleep Deprivation

Ask Instinctual Mothering

I am humbled and honored every time a mom, mom to be, or even the occasional father contacts me for advice or information. It never occurred to me that people would actually value my opinion enough to seek out my perspective, it is a shock every time! But it is truly an honor and a privilege to be able to share my perspective and experience with you all.

I thought it may be helpful to publish the questions I receive on the blog in a series titled “Ask Instinctual Mothering”. Remember, the answers are only my perspective based off of my own experiences and what I have read or researched. I will never claim to know all there is to know about pregnancy/birth/breastfeeding/parenting because I am still learning myself (and have no true accreditation besides a breastfeeding counselor certificate)! However; helping, encouraging, empowering, and sharing information with others is why I’m here typing. It is a true passion and gives me great fulfillment and I hope I can be of service.

I promise to only share real questions from real people and always with their permission (and never their name). If you find yourself pondering something yourself, please feel free to contact me with ANYTHING – even critical feedback! You can contact me through facebook, E-mail at Tmschult@gmail.com, or through the contact form at the bottom of this page.

Okay, enough blabbing. Here is the third “Ask Instinctual Mothering” installment! This was a message I received via Facebook.

The BIG SLEEP Question

Hi Tara,

I just wanted to reach out and see if you had any tips or words of advice that could help me and my daughter get better sleep.  I have a dockatot coming Tuesday and I’m hopeful she will like it.  She has reflux so I know I’m going it have to prop it up a bit.  She was doing well for a good 2 week stretch in her rock and play swaddled… sleeping anywhere from 4-7 hour stretches!  Then last Monday rolled around (the day before her 3 month) and all this crazy fussy no sleep at night happened.  Let me correct myself there, she sleeps but wakes ever 1-2 hours wanting my boob in her mouth.  Even if she’s not really nursing it’s comforting to her it seems.  She’ll fall back asleep within 10 mins but then transitioning her back to the rock n play is hard or it seems she doesn’t get into her deep sleep…(waking after 45mins -1.5hours).

I try to only keep her awake an hour and 15 – 1.5 hours then get her down for a nap before she is overtired and crying.  It’s a struggle tho.  I feel like I have no life.  Any tips or just what works for you would really be appreciated.  Thanks so much and I hope you and your family are doing well!

Sincerely,

Sleepless in the Suburbs

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Imitation Never Tastes as Good, Does It?

I was perusing (I was really tempted to spell this like “paroozing” here) through instagram with the hashtag #naturalparenting one day when I came across this meme. It wasn’t that well produced, actually it was pretty shabby… but it was powerful. This homemade meme caused me to have yet again another mind reeling, stark realization that forced my American brain-washed head to get out of the clouds and “come to the light”. I mean come on – top right picture, I’ve seen this product in stores, I’ve seen women pinning it on their pinterest boards with captions like “Baby Must Have!”, “Ingenious Idea!”. So you’re telling me, not only can we not be bothered to breastfeed anymore, but now we can’t even be bothered to hold the damn bottle?! I’ve never used this acronym before, but I feel it is appropriate here… S.M.H.

I looked around my home at all of the items that I had asked for, that people generously and lovingly bought for us to celebrate the arrival of our first child. 

I saw the baby swing that mimicked the motion of being carried. The manufacturer even had the courtesy to incorporate the sound of a heartbeat! How clever, so my baby will think she is being rocked to sleep in her mother’s arms when really I am lounging on the couch reading a magazine… A stress free Mom is more important than a happy baby right?! Isn’t that what they say…. 

I looked in my kitchen at the bottles and nipples I had just unpacked. The packages said things like “breast like!”, “slow-flow to best mimic breast flow“, “Anti-colic!” , “Found to effectively reduce gas“, and so on. On top of that,  the drawer full of pacifiers I had managed to stock up on all looked like poorly replicated versions of my own “organic” nipples.

Formula samples that were shipped to me via formula companies in hopes that I failed or gave up breastfeeding said things like “Easy to digest!“, “Proven to help fussiness” and again with the “Anti-colic!” slogan.
(more…)

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The Anti “Cry It Out” Movement

I have titled this post “The Anti “Cry it Out” Movement” because that is what I hope to achieve on some small level, someday.

The inspiration to start this blog all stemmed from one, short article that my sister in law shared on Facebook titled Screaming to sleep, Part One: The moral imperative to end ‘cry it out’ . To summarize, it is a devastating portrayal of what an infant goes through during the sleep-training method titled “cry it out” (CIO for short). I could not even get through the first paragraph before I felt a wave of nausea. I felt sympathy so strong, that I literally had a physical response.

This article continued to haunt me. I would be driving home and remember this article, and would feel sick to my stomach thinking of these babies. It was all I talked about to my husband when I would get home from work. I would bring it up in conversation whenever I could. Even today, I have to distract myself whenever this article pops in my head.

I know what some of you are thinking, this reaction is a bit extreme. Call it surging hormones, first-time mom syndrome, or hell to get really scientific maybe it all boils down to the empathetic portion of my brain being stimulated by a chemical reaction after childbirth (pause: mind-blown). Regardless of how or why, it set off a chain reaction. This one article affected me SO much that I feel a moral obligation to do something about it.

Hence, here I am typing away.

(more…)

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail

Imitation Never Tastes as Good, Does It?

Imitation Never Tastes as Good, Does It?

I was perusing (I was really tempted to spell this like “paroozing” here) through instagram with the hashtag #naturalparenting one day when I came across this meme. It wasn’t that well produced, actually it was pretty shabby… but it was powerful. This homemade meme caused me to have yet again another mind reeling, stark realization that forced my American brain-washed head to get out of the clouds and “come to the light”. I mean come on – top right picture, I’ve seen this product in stores, I’ve seen women pinning it on their pinterest boards with captions like “Baby Must Have!”, “Ingenious Idea!”. So you’re telling me, not only can we not be bothered to breastfeed anymore, but now we can’t even be bothered to hold the damn bottle?! I’ve never used this acronym before, but I feel it is appropriate here… S.M.H.

I looked around my home at all of the items that I had asked for, that people generously and lovingly bought for us to celebrate the arrival of our first child. 

I saw the baby swing that mimicked the motion of being carried. The manufacturer even had the courtesy to incorporate the sound of a heartbeat! How clever, so my baby will think she is being rocked to sleep in her mother’s arms when really I am lounging on the couch reading a magazine… A stress free Mom is more important than a happy baby right?! Isn’t that what they say…. 

I looked in my kitchen at the bottles and nipples I had just unpacked. The packages said things like “breast like!”, “slow-flow to best mimic breast flow“, “Anti-colic!” , “Found to effectively reduce gas“, and so on. On top of that,  the drawer full of pacifiers I had managed to stock up on all looked like poorly replicated versions of my own “organic” nipples.

Formula samples that were shipped to me via formula companies in hopes that I failed or gave up breastfeeding said things like “Easy to digest!“, “Proven to help fussiness” and again with the “Anti-colic!” slogan.
(more…)

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail

The Anti “Cry It Out” Movement

The Anti “Cry It Out” Movement

I have titled this post “The Anti “Cry it Out” Movement” because that is what I hope to achieve on some small level, someday.

The inspiration to start this blog all stemmed from one, short article that my sister in law shared on Facebook titled Screaming to sleep, Part One: The moral imperative to end ‘cry it out’ . To summarize, it is a devastating portrayal of what an infant goes through during the sleep-training method titled “cry it out” (CIO for short). I could not even get through the first paragraph before I felt a wave of nausea. I felt sympathy so strong, that I literally had a physical response.

This article continued to haunt me. I would be driving home and remember this article, and would feel sick to my stomach thinking of these babies. It was all I talked about to my husband when I would get home from work. I would bring it up in conversation whenever I could. Even today, I have to distract myself whenever this article pops in my head.

I know what some of you are thinking, this reaction is a bit extreme. Call it surging hormones, first-time mom syndrome, or hell to get really scientific maybe it all boils down to the empathetic portion of my brain being stimulated by a chemical reaction after childbirth (pause: mind-blown). Regardless of how or why, it set off a chain reaction. This one article affected me SO much that I feel a moral obligation to do something about it.

Hence, here I am typing away.

(more…)

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail