Ask IM: Preconception and Planning to Stay at Home

Ask Instinctual Mothering


I am humbled and honored every time a mom, mom to be, or even the occasional father contacts me for advice or information. It never occurred to me that people would actually value my opinion enough to seek out my perspective, it is a shock every time! But it is truly an honor and a privilege to be able to share my perspective and experience with you all.

I thought it may be helpful to publish the questions I receive on the blog in a series titled “Ask Instinctual Mothering”. Remember, the answers are only my perspective based off of my own experiences and what I have read or researched. I will never claim to know all there is to know about pregnancy/birth/parenting because I am still learning myself! However; helping, encouraging, empowering, and sharing information with others is why I’m here typing. It is a true passion and gives me great fulfillment and I hope I can be of service.

I promise to only share real questions from real people and always with their permission (and never their name). If you find yourself pondering something yourself, please feel free to contact me with ANYTHING – even critical feedback! You can contact me through facebook, E-mail at, or through the contact form at the bottom of this page.

Okay, enough blabbing. Here is the first “Ask Instinctual Mothering” installment! This was in response to my latest post on becoming a Stay At Home Mom.

Preconception and Planning to Stay at Home

Hi Tara! I have to be honest, I’ve read almost every one of your blog posts and LOVE the website!! It’s so perfect. I am getting married this year, and within the last year or so my fiance and I have had multiple conversations about our soon to be family and our goals and dreams of what that looks like. I’ve always wanted to be a mom, since, I’m pretty sure, the day I found out I could be a mom at like, 5 years old. Not kidding. Can’t wait. It is an absolute dream of mine, and thank God, my fiance’s too, for me to be a stay at home mom, at least for the first year or two of our 1st child’s life. I am a little ahead of myself, I know. We actually are hoping/planning (if all goes according to plan) to begin trying Summer of 2017. I think I’m reaching out to you because I’ve been so moved by your writing (I’ve actually cried) that I just wanted to know if you have any sort of tips for the “year before” trying to get pregnant. We have sat down with our finances and I am working a supplemental job and my fiance is picking up any Overtime that he can. We’re doing this because we know we need to pay off credit cards and cars if at all possible so it’s less monthly payments when/if I can be a SAHM. I’m just so…scared. I’m scared we aren’t going to be able to afford it and my/our dreams are going to come crashing down. Do you have any suggestions/ideas of how to reach this goal of being a stay at home mom with time a year prior to prepare? I REALLY appreciate any and all info you have. I think about it so often and cannot wait until it’s possible. Thank you SO MUCH!!

-Ms. Hopeful SAHM